Week 7 non-Eagles rooting guide

The Philadelphia Eagles are not a good football team. Fortunately for them, neither are any of the other teams in the NFC East, as the Birds are currently leading the division at 2-4-1.

 NFC East
 Football Team

And so, we’ll continue on plotting the ideal outcomes for other games around the league as if the Eagles have a chance to contend this season, even though, again, they aren’t good. And yes, I’m aware that a lot of the below is obvious. Ideal winners bolded. You can get the latest lines for all the Week 7 games over at TheLines.com.

Early Sunday games

• Cowboys at Football Team: The 1-5 Football Team is actually favored in this game, which is something that I would not have foreseen before the start of this season, even as a Cowboys skeptic. Still, they remain the Eagles’ biggest threat (if that’s what you’d call it) to winning the NFC East.

Panthers at Saints: If the Eagles win the NFC East, their first opponent will be the wildcard team with the best record (and the 5 seed). Ideally, that would be a team like the Bears than it would a team that owns them like the Saints.

Packers at Texans: In order for the Bears to get that 5 seed, thus creating a Carson Wentz – Nick Foles showdown, the Packers have to win the NFC North.

Bills at Jets: It’s better if the Jets get first dibs on their new franchise quarterback (Trevor Lawrence?) than if the Football Team or Giants do.

• Browns at Bengals: Worth keeping an eye on since the Eagles play the Browns in a month, but the outcome of this game doesn’t matter.

Later Sunday games

• Buccaneers at Raiders: We would say “AFC team win is better than an NFC team win,” but ultimately, that doesn’t matter at all this year, since it will be 4 seed or bust for the Eagles. Probably just best to root against sportsmanship devoid Tom Brady.


I wonder how well Tom knows Derek Carr.

49ers at Patri*ts: The Eagles know they can beat the 49ers, should they get into the playoffs, even if they did so against the awful Nick Mullens. Still, that’s a better matchup than some of the other possibilities. 

• Jaguars at Chargers: The Jags are another team in the hunt for a new franchise QB to steal away from the Football Team or Giants.


• Seahawks at Cardinals: It’s probably best if the playoffs don’t go through Seattle, since, you know, the Seahawks own them. Of course, if you’re thinking that far ahead in the playoffs, you’re probably pretty delusional about the Eagles’ chances of making a deep playoff run. But whatever.

Bears at Rams: Again… Wentz-Foles. We can will it to happen, and this would be a huge outcome for that possibility.

Irrelevant to the Eagles

  1. Steelers at Titans
  2. Chiefs at Broncos

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